Shopping with Warrior Cats
by Goldenwing Eats a Flower
Summary: Warrior cats go shopping! Kroger, Wal- Mart, Toys R Us, the mall, everything! Explore their world of shopping, and take laughs along the way! 100.00 to read. xD Just kidding!
1. Chapter 1

Shopping with Tigerstar... at Kroger!

I own some of the food brands, like Smoky's Smokin' Smokes, but not warrior cats! ;") (The " are my whiskers.)

* * *

"Hm I wonder what Goldenflower would want to eat," Tigerstar murmured, holding a list of food Goldenflower gave him. "First on the list, a dozen hot dog pack. Oh, yeah! We have a barbecue today."

Humming happily, he picks out Smoky's Smokin' Smokes, one dozen pack. "Maybe we'll run out, Tawnypaw's always hungry!" Putting it back, he, instead takes Smoky's Smokin' Smokes, a baker's dozen pack.

"Okay... now, a freshly cut steak... Oh yeah, Brambepaw doesn't like steak. I'm not going to buy steak, then." He crossed out "steak" and went onto the store.

"One pack of sugar mice," he read aloud. "I thought this was unhealthy, and I'm not even at the cashier yet. I'll get them later." Smiling dumbly, he crossed "sugar mice" out of the list. "I'm at the meat place, anyway. Now..."

"Ohhh, we're out of steak sause? But I'm not going to buy steak, so why bother? Goldenflower's so mean, making Bramblepaw force- eat steak!" He crossed out "steak sause" and moved on, stopping once to organize the shopping cart neatly. "Now... OH!"

He gasped as he saw Fireheart, and drew his lips in a snarl. He drove his shopping cart toward him, but missed, hitting a shelf of snow globes!

"AHHHH!"" He screamed, and a bunch of snow globes fell on top of him, but, amazingly, they were made of plastic!

"Yay!" Tigerstar yowled, and started dancing around.

A trio of young cats, known as Snowkit, Amberkit, and Dewkit, looked at him strangely and walked with their mother, Brightheart. Amberkit, the spunk, blew a raspberry at him.

One of the Kroger employees, Floss, growled at him. "Clean that up!"

"I guess I can add it to Tawnypaw's beta club points," Tigerstar thought, giggling. "Okay." He cleaned it all up and walked away. "Goldenflower didn't put a lot of stuff on the list."

* * *

Beep... "That would be $3.50, sir," the cashier, Pigface, mewed.

"Okay, PIGface," Tigerstar giggled flirtyly and gave her three dollars and two quarters.

Pigface gave him the mean look and Tigerstar held the plastic bag, and walked away.

* * *

"Hello, sweetie mouse!" Goldenflower cooed and kissed Tigerstar on the cheek, and Tigerstar purred and kissed her back. "I'm here, sweet cakes!"

"Did you get all the things I asked for?" Goldenflower asked, batting her eyelashes sweetly.

"Hi, daddy!" Tawnypaw yowled, hugging Tigerstar tightly. "I missed you! Bramblepaw misses you too, but he's playing video games."

Goldenflower's face turned into a hiss. "What happened to everything, Tigerstar?"

"What do you mean? Bramblepaw doesn't like steak, so I didn't buy steak and steak sause. And about the sugar mice, they are unhealthy-"

"HOW ABOUT THE RECIPT?" Goldenflower yowled.

Tawnypaw recoiled and ran upstairs.

"Whoops. I'll go back-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GET EVERYTHING?"

"What do you mean? It's only three things-"

"THERE'S A BACK, YOU IDIOT!" Goldenflower snarled.

* * *

That's how they broke up. ^.^


	2. Chapter 2

Tigerstar's so stupid in that last chapter. x"D Well, I hope you've enjoyed it. :") Next!

* * *

Shopping with Amberkit, Dewkit, and Snowkit at Redbox

* * *

"What movie do you want to borrow?" Brightheart asked, and pushed the shopping cart into Wal- Mart.

"I don't know," Dewkit mewed. "Something interesting."

"Duh!" Amberkit yowled, pushing Dewkit to the corner of the shopping cart.

"That's enough!" Brightheart growled. "Don't make the clown eat you!"

"Oooooh!" Dewkit and Amberkit mewed, and snuggled into Snowkit.

"Yay!" Amberkit got up first and strolled through the movies in the family section. "Reef 2... bo- ring. Annie? Already have it..."

"Hurry up!" Dewkit yowled, and pushed his sister away. "Action!" He pushed the "action" button and strolled through. "War Horse... scary... hmm... Oh! Toms in Black!"

Brightheart gasped and held Dewkit by the scruff. "No, they say bad words too much."

"YOU JUST CUSSED!" Snowkit screamed, and moved to the far corner of the shopping cart.

Huffing outwardly, she reached out a paw, but Dewkit was faster. "TOMS IN BLACK!" He screeched.

"Dewkit, what's the matter with you?" Brightheart hissed, pulling him back.

"Geez, just let him, like, um, borrow it," A pink cat behind them meowed.

Her ears hot in embarassement, Brightheart paid the money and let the other cats go and walked out of Wal- Mart, with three kits screaming in excitement.

* * *

"I wanna put it in!" Amberkit yowled.

"I wanna put it in!" Dewkit yowled.

"I wanna put it in..." Snowkit mewed.

"I called it first!" Amberkit argued angrily, shoving Dewkit backward.

"STOP IT!" Cloudtail snarled, and threw Amberkit and Dewkit on the fluffy couch filled with pigeon feathers. "Snowkit, ask nicely and you can but it in," Cloudtail mewed gently.

"NO FAIR!" Amberkit and Dewkit yowled together.

"May, Snowkit, please put in the disk?" Snowkit mewled sweetly.

Cloudtail purred and Snowkit put in the disk, then flew over to the couch.

Brightheart hurried in and locked the family room's door. Then she came on the couch, where Amberkit, Dewkit, and Snowkit watched with wide blue eyes. Cloudtail joined in.

"Dragonfly!" Dewkit purred, batting at the screen. "He looks sort of like a robot."

"No," Amberkit growled. "And it's a girl, Dewkit!"

"Ahh!" Snowkit whimpered. "Dragonfly guts."

"Eeepp!" Amberkit dug into Cloudtail's fluffy white fur, her ginger tail sticking into the air.

"Kitty," Dewkit taunted her, while Snowkit's eyes were glued to the screen. "THE DRIVER CUSSED!"

* * *

"Was it an awesome movie for you three?" Brightheart hissed.

"YES!" Amberkit yowled. "Except all those bad words. I like the part when he squished his auntie." She giggled.

"I like the part with the alien guts," Dewkit yowled, puffing out his chest. "Amazing!"

"If I wanted to be a tom in black, do I have to cuss?" Snowkit whimpered.

"No." Cloudtail mewed.

"Have you ever cussed in your life?"

"Yes." "No."

The trio gasped in amazement as Brightheart said that. "What did you say?"

"I once said the "b" word to Swiftpaw, and said kick "a" to my mentor, Whitestorm."

* * *

Funny? xD I just guessed the three's personalities...

And Whitewing is at her own house with Ivypool, Dovewing, and Birchfall.


	3. Chapter 3

Heeheeeheee, I'm glad you liked it! ^.^ And yes, Toms in Black are Men in Black. ;") I love the reviews, thank you so much. :")

* * *

Shopping with Sorreltail, Molekit, Poppykit, Cinderkit, and Honeykit at Toys R Us!

* * *

"Yay!" Molekit squealed, and jumped out of the shopping cart.

"I think Molekit stole the miceydoodle cookies," Honeykit whimpered. "They're my favorite kinds!"

"Mommy! Can we we some doggie bone candy?" Poppykit asked. "Over there- no! Over there! NOOO!" She wailed as Sorreltail, instead, drove the shopping cart through the enterance. "Bye, Molekit!" Sorreltail called, and Molekit, who was studying a Thomas the Train ride, scampered over to meet them.

* * *

"Ohhh, can I have that gumball machine?" Poppykit asked.

"May I pwease have that candy jumprope maker?" Honeykit mewed sweetly.

"Look at that Cinderella candy maker," Cinderkit cooed.

"I WANT THAT SPIDERMAN SWIMMING POOL!" Molekit screeched.

Sorreltail slapped Molekit gently and went on.

"I want that alien candy glob machine," Poppykit squealed.

"I want that monster goo maker," Cinderkit mewed.

"I want that thing called monster planet candy world," Honeykit meowed.

"I WANT THAT MOUNTAIN CAT TAIL TWISTER!" Molekit yowled.

Sorreltail slapped him gently and went on.

"Look at that Berrystumpytail torturer," Poppykit piped up. "It looks so much fun!"

"Look at the Firestar name changer!" Cinderkit purred. "Look, here it says Firefart!"

"Look at the Millie flamethrower chaser!" Honeykit yowled for the first time.

"I WANT THE TINKER BELL LAMP!" Molekit screeched.

Sorreltail slapped him gently and went on.

"Wow! Look at the awesome Cinderella bedspread!" Honeykit giggled.

"OMSC, that Ariel pillow," Cinderkit purred.

"That Spottedleaf counter looks amazing with my Hello Kitty theme," Poppykit mewed, jumping out of the cart.

"I WANT A BARBIE TOILET BRUSH!" Molekit yowled.

Sorreltail slapped Molekit gently and picked up Poppykit, then put her in the cart with her sisters and brother.

"Mommy, look at that-"

"SHUT UP!" Sorreltail yowled.

A family beside them stared at them. "Wht dd u jst say 2 ur kts?" Lipsticklips growled.


	4. Chapter 4

Shopping with Squirrelflight and Leafpool at Bath & Body Works

* * *

"What do you think would be good for Sandstorm's birthday party?" Squirrelflight asked Leafpool.

"Dunno," Leafpool replied. "Something girly. How about...? Hmm..." Leafpool scanned through the stores, her amber eyes narrowed. "Oh! Bath & Body Works!"

"Yeah!" Squirrelflight yowled, and took Leafpool's paw and flew to the store.

* * *

"The perfumes," Squirrelflight rasped.

Leafpool took in a deep breath. "Ahhh," she sighed. "Why don't you like it?"

Squirrelflight choked.

"Stop faking," she snapped, and dragged Squirrelflight across the floor.

Pigface looked at them strangely.

"Ohhh, how about this one?" Leafpool asked, opening the bottle and taking a breath. "Mmmm..."

Squirrelflight scented it. "OMSC!"

"Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know," she rasped.

"Shut up," Leafpool snapped, and closed it. "It's called Moonlight Path."

"OMSC!"

"Ohhh, look at this one," Leafpool cooed, licking her lips. "It's called Sweet Pea."

"Instead of perfume, let's look at the soap. The perfumes' killing me."

"Fine."

They walked across the floor, to the other corner of the store.

"This one is called Strawberry Delight. I love strawberries!" Leafpool squealed.

"Let me try," Squirrelflight growled, then her face lit up. "Swabewies!"

Leafpool rolled her eyes. "Should we buy this?"

"Okay," she meowed.

"Wait, let's buy paw sanitizer for her, too," Leafpool mewed, and hurried to the paw sanitizer.

Squirrelflight groaned and followed her, accidently tripping a kit with her tail.

"Hey!" She complained, and hurried to join her sister.

"Be nice," Leafpool snorted, and opened a bottle. "Ohhh, catnip!" She pulled it away to look at the name. "Catnip's Kisses," she read.

"Let me try one!" Squirrelflight opened another bottle and wheezed. "This smells like alcohol!"

"Let me try," Leafpool mewed, and snatched the bottle from her. "Mmmmmmm!" She squealed. "Watermelon Hearts!"

"Ew," Squirrelflight growled. "It smelled like alcohol."

"It did not," Leafpool replied. "Smells like watermelon and cherries. And that one over there smells like pear," she added.

"Okay." Squirrelflight smelled it. "OMSC! Smells like alcohol!"

"OMDF! You're just not smelling it right!" Leafpool screeched.

* * *

"Ah, fresh air! Ohh!" Squirrelflight yowled, sniffing the air noisily.

"Shut up," Leafpool hissed.

"Mmmmmmm," Squirrelflight sighed.

"Hmmph." Leafpool started to walk to the parking lot.

Squirrelflight looked inside their bag. "Suppose we should buy some wrapping paper?"

"No, we have some at home. We'll be fine." Leafpool looked inside the bag, too. "Wait- NO! We forgot the recipt!"

"NOOOOO! NOT TO THAT HORRIBLE PLACE~!" Squirrelflight screeched.

"It is NOT horrible," Leafpool growled. "And you know how Firestar is like about recipts."

* * *

"We forgot the recipt," Leafpool meowed to the cashier.

"What's your name?" The cashier, Rosedapple, mewed.

"Leafpool."

Meanwhile, Squirrelflight was smelling catnip lotion. "OMSC! Smells too strong..."

Squirrelflight toppled over and fainted.

* * *

I'm sorry if it was so short! xD


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you, The Gone Angel, you're an awesome reviewer. xD

And yes, poor ol' Sorreltail. xD

* * *

Shopping with Ferncloud, Birchfall, Hollypool, Larchwing, Shrewnose, Spiderleg, Icekit, and Foxkit at Candy Heaven!

* * *

"I want to go to Toys R Us!" yowled Icekit.

"I want to go to the penny fountain," Foxkit mewed.

"I want to go to the carosel," Spiderleg meowed.

"I want to go to the swimming pool," Shrewnose complained.

"Let's go to the candy shop," Ferncloud decided. "To satisfy all your worries."

"Yay!"

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!" Hollypool sang, swinging her head back and forth.

"Shut up, I hate that song," Birchfall hissed.

"Happy birthday to me- eeeee!"

Larchwing twitched her tail, following Ferncloud and pushing Hollypool toward the candy store.

"Happy birthday to me!"

* * *

"Can I have a sample of peanut brittle?" Shrewnose begged.

"I asked for it first!" Icekit argued.

"But it's too late for you, on your white horse..."

Birchfall pushed Hollypool.

"I want peanut brittle!" Foxkit shrieked.

"Be quiet!" Ferncloud snapped. "Three, please," she said to the cashier.

The cashier, Milknose, gave her three samples.

"Thank you," she said. She then got a plastic bag and fluffed it out. "Okay, kits, what do you want?"

"I want this, mommy!" Icekit yowled, crumbs falling out of her mouth. "Watermelon jellies!"

"This peanut brittle is good, can you buy a whole slab?" Foxkit mewed.

Ferncloud got some watermelon jellies and ordered half a slab of peanut brittle.

"I said I whole _slab!" _Foxkit complained.

"I want some rainbow sour belts," Larchwing meowed, licking her lips.

Ferncloud flicked Foxkit's mouth with her tail and got a big line of sour belts.

"Mother, may I have chocolate malts?" Spiderleg asked.

"I want more chocolate malts than Spiderleg," Shrewnose mewed.

"You'll be sharing," Ferncloud informed him, and got a whole shovel- full of chocolate malts.

"There's a fi- er, starting in my heart. Reaching..."

"You'll get that in my head!" Birchfall screamed, and ran around.

"No candy for you," Ferncloud told Birchfall. "Too much sugar in you today."

"No! I want power candy!" Birchfall complained, and Ferncloud filled the tube up with...

Cherry, strawberry, orange, lemon, lime, grape, blueberry, sour grapes, cotton candy, and some other powders.

"You didn't do it in rainbow order!" Birchfall growled, and flattened his ears.

Icekit tugged Ferncloud's tail. "Mother, Foxkit's being a jerk!"

"That's not a nice word." Ferncloud scolded her, and trotted to her two sons.

"Oh, mom, I got this lollipop first, and Spiderleg won't let go!" Shrewnose yowled.

"No, it's the only one, and I got it, but Shrewnose was snotty and took it away!"

Ferncloud shook her head, not knowing who to believe. "I'll buy you a small lollipop each."

"Mommy, I want bubblegum!" Icekit chirped.

"Mommy, I want powder candy!" Foxkit mewled.

"TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!"

"Mother, I don't want a small lollipop!" Shrewnose growled.

"Mother, I don't want a grape lollipop!" Spiderleg complained.

"Mom, you didn't put it in rainbow order," Birchfall reminded her, lapping at his powder- candy tube.

"Mom, Hollypool's bothering me!" Larchwing snarled.

"HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE!"

"BE QUIET!" Ferncloud snarled.

"Ma' am?" Milknose meowed.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter contains mild language, like stupid and crap and such. Things that fourth graders won't find as bad.

* * *

Shopping with Jayfeather at Target!

* * *

"Here." Hollyleaf tossed Jayfeather a list of stuff.

"Okay. What store?" Jayfeather asked stupidly.

"Target. Now go to the car and drive along. I'm busy."

* * *

"Okkkkaaaaaayyyyyyy. First on the list. Crap. I'm blind." Jayfeather wall- palmed himself on the wall.

"Look at that weird guy over there!" Buttkit mewed.

"Oh well. I'll just guess." Jayfeather wandered off to the popcorn and hot dog place and tried to find the shopping cart, but failed and got a bag of chips instead. Feeling crinkly material instead of the smooth plastic he wanted, he threw the bag of chips across the food place. "I HATE YOU STARCLAN!"

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooh," Buttkit mewed.

"Don't worry, I have a special connection with StarClan."

* * *

Jayfeather had found a shopping cart in the parking lot, where he almost got ran over. He eventually found the doors to Target again and wandered to random places. "What would Hollyleaf want?" he asked himself, walking through the women's clothes. He smelled bathing suits. He flung something random in the cart and drove away, where he banged into a shirt shelf.

"May I help you?" Pigface asked.

"YOU ARE A STALKER!" Jayfeather ran away from the women's clothes without cleaning the shirts. Heck, he didn't even know if they were women's shirts anyway.

* * *

He went to the men's place without knowing.

"Hmmm..."

Jayfeather randomly got some stuff, which included boxers and socks. Then he left to another random place, but he accidently dropped some pairs of socks. Being blind, he didn't know. Pity.

* * *

He eventually got to the toy section.

He acciedently bumped his cart onto the giant ball net, which made him swerve into the transformers' aisle. He sniffed the air, and grabbed some toys, and tossed them into the cart.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH , IT'S JAYFEATHER!" Echodream yowled, and bowled him over. "You are the twee in the pwopecee, wight?"

Jayfeather escaped and ran away with his shopping cart.

* * *

In shock, he went to the movie aisle.

"JAYFEATHER!" Something bowled him over and pinned him over.

"You are the twee in the pwopecee, wight?"

Jayfeather escaped and ran away with his shopping cart.

"BUT I WANT YOUR AUTOGWAPH!" Echodream wailed in the distance.

* * *

Jayfeather skidded onto the slippery floor and followed a neighbooring cat to the cashiers.

He waited for his turn, and then he reached for his wallet.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep etc., okay?

"That will be..." Beep "... $50.75, sir."

He zipped open the pocket and then groaned. "Whoops, I forgot I had all pennies. One... two, three... six, eight, ten..."

* * *

"Five hundred... four hundred ninety nine... whoops... I have to start over. Oonnnnnnnnnnneeee..."

* * *

After about five mess- ups, he got all his pennies.

The cashier named Pigface narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Jayfeather, then gave him his stuff. "Thank you and have a nice day."

* * *

Walking out the doors.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! JAYFEATHER! GIMME YOUR AWTOGWAPH!" She quick gave him a notepad.

Groaning loudly, he looked for a pencil. "I don't have..."

"HERE!"

Jayfeather got the grip of the pencil then paused. "Whoops, I don't know how to write."

"WHY?!"

"I'm blind."

* * *

"Wat. TK U SO LNG!" Hollyleaf yowled. "I've been waiting for hours..."

Jayfeather gave her her stuff.

Hollyleaf eyed them, did a little happy dance, then took them without saying a word.

* * *

Echodream is made up by my warrior- crazed friend, Elizabeth _. :")


	7. Chapter 7

And thanks for all the reviews! xD This is the first one where it reached 2 reviews... O_o Please read my other stories, too! xD

And, returning the Happy Halloween- Early Halloween, everyone! :") I'm a cat witch. ;)

* * *

Shopping with Firestar and Cloudkit at Wal- Mart!

* * *

Firestar entered the store with Cloudkit on his heels. He was too short to grab, so Firestar had bought one of those backbag leashes.

Cloudkit gazed into the security camera, and jumped up and down.

Firestar pulled on the leash, but it only made Cloudkit fall on his face.

Cloudkit just shook his head jumped up and down again, in front of the security camera. Then he picked his nose.

Firestar growled and pulled on the leash harder, making Cloudkit fall on his face again. He dragged Cloudkit across the floor, away from the security camera.

* * *

While Firestar was dragging him, Cloudkit raised up his face and saw a "CAUTION- WET FLOOR!" Sign. He quick got up again and raced toward it, putting his bag leash on the floor. He looked at the "CAUTION- WET FLOOR" Sign before putting it on a carpeted area.

Firestar ran after him and gets caught in the clothing rack.

Cloudkit laughed like a maniac and ran around, almost to the point of burning his leash with a barbecue cooking demo.

"CLOUDKIT!" Firestar screeched, and ran after him.

"Ooooooh, ThunderClan leader!" Tissuepaper oohed.

* * *

"Bad, bad, bad Cloudkit!" Firestar scolded his nephew. "Looks like I'll have to put you in the cart." He picked him up by the pants and ran to the Wal- Mart enterance, plopping him in a shopping cart and clicking the seat belt together. "I'll tell Princess about this! And that means no more Transformers robots!"

* * *

"Liquid soap," Firestar read off the list. "Hmmm, the pharmacy is right here." Firestar drove to the pharmacy place.

"I WANT TRANSFORMER ROBOTS!"

Firestar put on his scariest snarl at him and drove to the soap aisle.

"I'll get payback," Cloudkit muttered, and crossed his short white paws.

* * *

Cloudkit's blue eyes grew bigger than the moon itself as he looked at the soap. "Shiny!" He squealed, earning a mean growl from Firestar.

When Firestar was looking away, Cloudkit undid his seat belt and leaped off the shopping cart. He gazed at the soaps, and took a clear bottle of clear soap. He giggled and undid the top, tearing off the plastic. He then spilled it around the soap aisle, spilling more around Firestar's paws.

* * *

"HOW DARE YOU!" Firestar snarled.

Tawnypaw flinched and ran upstairs. "Whoops, there's no upstairs!"

"How dare _I?" _Cloudkit mewled innocently.

* * *

Firestar strolled the cart with Cloudkit strapped onto duct tape.

Cloudkit: Grumpy grumpy grumpy

Then Cloudkit tried to take it off, but Firestar knew he won't be able to do it. Smiling, he looked up at the porch furniture.

"MY UNCLE DID THIS TO ME! CALL 911! 911!" Cloudkit quickly tried to take the tape off, only jerking it off, taking his cloudy fur with it.

Firestar just swished his tail in amusement and looked over the prices.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehe!" Cloudkit unpainfully stripped all the duct tape off, his body now bald.

He jumped out and stole a catnip bar and relaxed on a beach chair, his front legs folded underneath his head.

Firestar hummed and turned around, his sight revealing a bald Cloudkit. "OH MY (****in* S***C***)

* * *

Firestar had taped Cloudkit to the corner of the shopping cart with an apple on his mouth, returning to Princess very happy!


	8. Chapter 8

Shopping with Brindleface, Dustpelt, her kits, and their kits, and their kits! (Dustpelt, Ashfur, Ferncloud, Larchwing, Hollypool, Birchfall, Shrewnose, Spiderleg, Icecloud, Foxleap, Dovewing, Ivypool, Rosepetal, and Toadstep at Costco!

* * *

"Ma'am, the card," Pigface reminded the particulary large group.

Ferncloud showed Pigface the card while Dustpelt got the shopping cart.

Toadstep and Icecloud and Dovewing walked along the curb.

Larchwing and Foxleap talked about how Darkstripe sucks.

Spiderleg was dancing the everything.

Shrewnose brought his tuba.

Hollypool listened to her Ipod.

* * *

"Let's go!" Brindleface yowled to her kits, her old voice cracking.

"Let's go!" Ferncloud and Dustpelt yowled to their kits.

"Let's go," Ashfur meowed to his invisible Squirrelflight.

"LET'S GO!" The kits yowled.

"Let's go!" Brichfall yowled to his kits.

"Let's go," Spiderleg meowed to his kits who he didn't really at all take care for.

"LET'S GO!" Ivypool screamed for him.

Pigface snarled at them.

* * *

"So..." Brindleface rasped, hanging on for dear life on the shopping cart. "What will we have today?"  
Ashfur patted his lovely mother on the back and carried her in the shopping cart.

"We will have wonderful steak, and a lot of it," Ferncloud meowed to her.

"Okay," Brindleface wheezed. "Make sure you chew it up for me again."

"That's my favorite job," Dustpelt mewed happily.

"The scars of your love remind me of us. Reaching a fever pitch and bring me outa the dark. 'inally I... can see you crystal clear... Go ahead, and..."

Shrewnose let out a horrific sound from his tuba, his face wrinkled up in digust of both Dustpelt and Hollypool. Hollypool was a good singer, but she had problems.

* * *

"Squirrel noodle soup," Ferncloud read, while her brother pushed the shopping cart.

"MY FAVE!" Larchwing screamed.

Larchwing pushed her uncle and rolled the shopping cart all the way to the soup and noodle aisle.

Inside the cart, old little Brindleface opened her jaws in a silent wail.

Icecloud, who somehow snuck in the cart, patted her grandma's back.

* * *

"I'LL RACE YOU!" Toadstep yowled. "HOWEVER TOUCHES BRINDLEFACE'S TAIL WINS!"

"ON YOUR MARK..." Dovewing screamed.

"GET SET..." Foxleap yowled.

"GO!" Everykit yowled.

* * *

Oh, StarClan. The kits, who are: Toadstep, Dovewing, Foxleap, Ivypool, and Rosepetal, trampled an eldery queen known as Speckletail.

They also trampled Darkstripe.

"YAY!"

They also trampled Redtail.

"WAIT A SECOND..."

They also trampled-

"-Go ahead, and sell me out..."

-Stormfur.

"NOOO!"

* * *

"Go ahead, and sell me out, and I'll lay your s*** bare."

Shrewnose, who was walking beside her, gasped.

"See how I'll leave..."

Shrewnose yanked her Ipod away from her. "YOU MEOWED A BAD WORD THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF THE FREAKIN' SONG! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE _SHIP!_"

"WHaT?" Hollypool mewed, her eyes all derpy.

* * *

"I WIN!" Toadstep, the fastest, yanked Brindleface's tail.

Brindleface yowled.

"How dare you tormet your poor grandmother!" Ferncloud snarled.

"We were having a race."

Suddenly, something yanked his tail.

He yowled.

"We're racing to the beef jerky stand," she mewed excitedly. "First one to yank the cat's tail wins!"

While she was explaining, the stampede passed her.

The cousins stared at each other.

"Let's go!"

* * *

"Squirrel noodle soup," Brindleface read slowly.

"Yes, mother," Ashfur mewed slowly. "Squirrel noodle soup."

Ferncloud grabbed a squirrel noodle soup- dozen cans and dropped it in the cart.

"We no have no space," Brindleface rasped.

"Duspelt, go get another cart," Ferncloud ordered Dustpelt.

"Yeah," Icecloud squeaked.

Dustpelt nodded. "For my dear mother-in-law," he meowed solemnly.

* * *

The cat yowled.

The stampede stole all the beef jerky.

Rosepetal knocked the cat, Shinyeverything with a can of clam chowder soup.

"Let's race to the nacho stand," Ivypool meowed.

The stampede of cats ran away.

"Wait for me!" Ivypool cried.

* * *

"Anyway... see how I leave with every piece of you. Don't understimate the things that I'll do. There's a fire..."

Shrewpaw made a duet by playing the tuba.

"SHUT UP!" Mistywispy screamed.

* * *

Dustpelt teleported and got a cart.

"Good," Ferncloud meowed happily. She moved Icecloud and her dear old mother to the other cart with a single paw because the squirrel noodle soup was too heavy.

Ashfur smiled and started to steer the cart.

"Next on the list is salsa," Dustpelt told them. "The next aisle."

"Where did my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews go?" Icecloud asked.

"They're probably playing and knocking out Shiningeverything and racing to the next stand which is the nacho stand and the cat who is Rosedapple trying to knock her out," Ferncloud explained.

Icecloud nodded. "I know, right?"

* * *

Rosepetal knocked Rosedapple out with a giant slice of cheese.

"I win," Dovewing panted. "So I get all of them." She gulped everything. Then she took off. "FIRST ONE TO PULL THE YOGURT STAND FIRST WINS!"

* * *

Ferncloud looked around. "I wonder why there's no sample stands."

"They're probably playing and knocking out Shiningeverything and racing to the next stand which is the nacho stand and the cat who is Rosedapple trying to knock her out," Icecloud meowed smartly.

"That's outdated," Brindleface mewed.

"Oh," Icecloud mewed, her ears drooping.

"Be smart like your mother," Brindleface meowed smartly.

"Great, I forgot who my own mother is," Dustpelt groaned.

"It's Blackstar, silly," Ferncloud purred cutely.

"Oh, yeah!" Dustpelt giggled.

"I got some salsa while you warriors were meowing." Ashfur cleared his throat. He dropped it in with the squirrel noodle soup.

* * *

"I win," Rosepetal giggled, and knocked the yogurt cat with a jug of milk. She started to lick some slowly.

"Good job, Rosepetal," Toadstep growled. "High five."

"High five!" Rosepetal giggled, but Toadstep slapped her on the forehead.

Dovewing ate half of everything and took off.

Foxleap bristled and caught up with her. "FIRST ONE TO KNOCK OUT THE COFFEE CAT FIRST WINS!"

"YEAH!" Dovewing agreed randomly.

* * *

"Lalalalalalalalalalalalala."

Shrewnose played along, but then switched to the My Little Pony theme song. He tuba scratched the ground.

"...And lalalalalalalalalalala."

Shrewnose teleported and but his tuba back home and teleported back.

* * *

"Next is... steak!" Ashfur meowed. "_And a lot of it," _he read.

"We need about like ten packages." Brindleface put in.

"Yeah," Icecloud added.

"Let's go," Dustpelt piped in. He steered the one holding the cats.

Ferncloud took after him, steering the one with the stuff.

Poor Ashfur ran over to catch up.

* * *

Rosepetal knocked out the coffee cat with his own mug. "I WIN AGAIN!"

* * *

This will be continued in another chapter. ;) But this time, in the meat section.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the long wait! D:

* * *

Continuing Shopping with Brindleface, Ashfur, Dustpelt, Ferncloud, Spiderleg, Shrewnose, Birchfall, Larchwing, Hollypool, Ivypool, Dovewing, Foxleap, Rosepetal, and Toadstep at Costco!

* * *

"My little pony!" Hollypool screeched.

"Skinny and bony!" Shrewpaw screeched.

* * *

"Time on shopping with warrior cats," Goldenwing reported. "Last time, youngish warriors of Brindleface's line, Ivypool, Dovewing, Foxleap, Rosepetal, and Toadstep were having a stupid race. They trampled sample stands of a lot of things and knocked them out. And pulled their tails. And ate the whole stand. The are ahead of the whole family in Costco."

"Whoops. Anyway, and then Dustpelt rolled the shopping cart that was holding Icecloud and Brindleface. Ferncloud rolled the shopping cart holding stuff. Ashfur's following.

And Larchwing and ShrewNOSE were singing random stupid stuff. They're way behind.

And Spiderleg and Birchfall and Larchwing are nowhere to be seen."

* * *

"WE'RE ON !" Spiderleg yowled. He and his siblings were watching !. And the !s are in the enterance of Costca. Which means they aremore behind.

* * *

"Next on the list is steak," Brindleface rasped.

"Yeah," Icecloud meowed. "And we should get another cart."

"Yeah, go shoo, Ashfur," Ferncloud meowed.

"Yeah, let's go, Squirrelflight," Ashfur meowed to his invisible Squirrelflight. He teleported away.

"Yeah," Icecloud yowled.

* * *

"NEXT ONE TO PULL THE CAT'S TAIL THAT IS AT THE HAMBURGER STAND WINS!" Dovewing yowled.

Toadstep rode on his pet toad and stepped all the way there.

Dovewing and the others pouted. Then she flew on her pet dove and winged all the way there.

Foxleap leaped on his pet fox.

Toadstep's toad ate the hamburger stand.

Toadstep pouted.

* * *

"Loopy lappy la," Hollypool randamly sangish.

"Shiny lipey la!" Shrewnose finished.

* * *

Ashfur came back with a Squirrelflight plushie in the baby seat of the cart.

"Where did you get that?" Icecloud chirped up.

"Oh-"

"You should get a Bramblestar plushie to go along with Squirrelflight," Icecloud interuppted.

Ashfur snarled at Icecloud.

Icecloud started to cry.

Brindleface made Ashfur sit time out in those freezing stuff that contain the meat.

Ashfur sat a zippy and came back.

Everyone is happy.

* * *

Rosepetal came, petaling on her rosy bike. "Now there's no more stands," she complained. "And you didn't even knock out the cat!"

"Wat?" The cat on the hamburger stand meowed. His nametag was Milliesucks.

Ivypool pooled on her pool of ivy and knocked out Milliesucks.

"Yayies," Rosepetal meowed.

* * *

Ashfur, Dustpelt, and Ferncloud drove toward the steak place.

"It's cold," Icecloud complained.

"You're supposed to be icy," Ferncloud meowed.

"Oh yeah."

Dustpelt replaced Ashfur's Squirrelflight plushie with a steak packet.

"HOW DARE YOU! SQUIRRELFLIGHT IS NOT REPLACABLE!"

"She is with a plushie," Dustpelt meowed, and threw the plushie on Ashfur's back.

Ferncloud threw thirty steaks in Ashfur's cart. Then she put twenty under the cart.

"Yay," Brindleface meowed.

* * *

It's short... O_O But does that still make up? xD


	10. Chapter 10

Mez iz a fail and jus relzd tat Spderlg a shrwnse r older tan brchfll and hs lttrmats. O.O (Bleach your eyes! xD JK)

Check out The Third Dawn. I am much more of a skilled writer. xD And my warrior names are much more beautiful.

* * *

Shopping with Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, Jayfeather, Leafpool, Crowfeather, and Breezepelt at Hmart! I am aware that apples are poisonous to cats.

* * *

Crowfeather parked the car.

"Yay," Hollyleaf yayed.

"Yay," Lionblaze yayed.

"Yay," Jayfeather yayed.

"I HATE THIS PLACE!" Breezepelt I hate this placed.

"Time for shopping," Leafpool time for shoppinged.

* * *

"I brought my leafbare jacket," Hollyleaf meowed cheerfully to Lionblaze and Jayfeather.

Lionblaze walked beside her. "I brought mine, too!"

"I wore my regular PS jacket, is that okay?" Jayfeather asked.

"I HATE YOUR REGULAR PS JACKET!" Breezepelt yowled.

"You ruined my life!" Kittypet screeched.

"Be nice," Kittenpet, Kittypet's mother, snapped.

* * *

Leafpool, Crowfeather, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather arrived at the actual supermarket, and Leafpool stopped them once they were near the crate of apples.

"Get only the ones that aren't bruised," Leafpool told them.

Hollyleaf nodded mechanically. "Okay." She scanned the apples that were on the top of the pile.

Crowfeather quickly got a plastic bag for the apples.

"I HATE APPLES!" Breezepelt complained loudly.

Lionblaze slapped him harder than Sorreltail did to Molekit.

* * *

Leafpool rolled the cart into the fruit place.

"It's cold," Breezepelt complained again.

"Bring your leafbare jacket, then," Jayfeather growled.

"Oooh, look, a fruit stand!" Hollyleaf meowed, and ran over there.

Crowfeather followed her to make sure she didn't knock out the cat.

Hollyleaf took the last fruits.

Lionblaze joined them. He looked at the cat. He waited.

Breezepelt pushed Jayfeather over and trampled him to get to the stand. "I want one!"

"No," Lionblaze snapped.

"Yes!" Breezepelt growled.

"Then I'll hack your facebook if you get one," Lionblaze growled.

"And I'll hack your face!" Breezepelt snarled.

Jayfeather, as a medicine cat, put a Band- Aid on his knee and walked over to get the freshly cut fruits.

Hollyleaf slobbered all over hers.

* * *

"Time to get some parsley," Leafpool mewed.

"What is parsley?" Lionblaze and Hollyleaf and Breezepelt asked.

"It's a green plant with curled edges and tastes fresh like frost on a leafbare night, even when it's dried," Jayfeather growled.

"How do you know?" Leafpool gasped.

"It is called _Petroselinum crispum," _Jayfeather meowed. "And Mousefur taught me, remember? I tried to ask you, but you ignored me."

"Mousefur did not teach you!" Leafpool snapped. "She's too old."

"And you're too old to remember what happened," Jayfeather meowed.

"How old are you again?" Crowfeather asked Leafpool.

"Don't talk about my age, it's depressing," Leafpool growled.

"Let's leave," Hollyleaf meowed to Lionblaze. "I want to go shopping."

"I HATE SHOPPING!" Breezepelt yowled.

* * *

Hollyleaf took off with the shopping cart. "Wheeeee!"

Lionblaze hopped into the shopping cart and grabbed a carton of eggs. "What else do we need?"

Hollyleaf narrowed her eyes. "Hm. Leafpool has really bad handwriting," she meowed. "Maybe because she's so-"

* * *

"I mean, how young are you?" Crowfeather asked.

* * *

"I think the next one on the list is something called... hmm. Boeon?"

"What?" Lionblaze gawked, and took the list from her. "Isn't that ba... eon?

"I HATE BACON!" Breezepelt yowled.

"Oooh, it's bacon!" Hollyleaf cheered.

* * *

"Next on the list is solmen," Lionblaze read.

"Sol and men?" Hollyleaf wrinkled up her nose. "I hate Sol and solmen is worse."

"Okay, fine. I think it's.. umm... sutmon. I'm not really sure."

"I HATE SALMON!" Breezepelt looked over Lionblaze's shoulder.

"Go get a life!" Lionblaze yowled.

* * *

"This one is really hard," Hollyleaf complained.

"Are you sure?" Lionblaze asked, and peered over Hollyleaf's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure that's gono."

"Gon- o?" Lionblaze echoed. "Gone- o?"

"I think Leafpool meant that you're a goner," Hollyleaf snapped.

"I HATE JELLO!" Breezepelt screamed.

"GET LOST!" Lioblaze yowled.

"Goner," Hollyleaf added.

* * *

"This one is pees," Hollyleaf announced. "Finally one I can make out."

"Are we really going to buy pee?" Lionblaze asked dryly.

"Forever hold your pees!" Goldenwing ran around.

"I HATE PEAS!" Breezepelt chased after Goldenwing.

Goldenwing threw a sausage at him.


	11. Chapter 11

A quick shout out to ponyiowa! xD She found a billion stupid typos. O.O

Another quick shout out to everyone else out there! ^.^ Goldenwing/ Nightsplash loves ya all!

I will take requests through PM for the next three chapters.

My birthday's tomorrow- go shopping for a pony for me!

* * *

Shopping with Brightheart, Amberkit, Dewkit, and Snowkit at Wal-Mart!

* * *

Brightheart lifted the three furry kittens into the shopping cart, swinging her purse around her shoulders.

Amberkit whined.

Dewkit squealed.

Snowkit burped on accident.

"Ew!" Amberkit squeaked.

* * *

Brightheart strolled the shopping cart into Wal-Mart, with Snowkit in the kit seat. Snowkit happily sat in his seat with the eat belt strapped onto him. "Where are we goin'?"

"To Wal-Mart, how can you be so shoopid?" Amberkit rolled her eyeballs.

Dewkit pushed her away from him.

"No shoving!" Brightheart snapped. "And no calling each other stupid."

"I said shoopid, not stupid," Amberkit meowed back.

Brightheart gave Amberkit the glare and walked to the grocery section.

"Ew, brussel sprouts," Amberkit growled.

"Ew, cabbage," Dewkit growled.

"Ew, apricot," Amberkit growled.

"Ew, everything," Dewkit spat.

And, Snowkit ate an everything while Brightheart was not looking.

* * *

While Brightheart was looking at the apple cider, Amberkit and Dewkit leaped out of the shopping cart, with Snowkit watching them.

"I hava yo mama joke!" Dewkit yowled.

"Wat tis it?" Amberkit asked.

"Yo mama waz zo ugly, Bob the Builder turned around and said, I can't fix that!" Dewkit started to laugh hysterically. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ahem. Ha," Amberkit watched as Dewkit rolled on the ground he rolled in plastic bags and rotten leaves on the ground.

"Ew!" Snowkit squealed, and tried to reach Brightheart. "BRIGHTHEART! DEWKIT-"

"Dewkit needs the mental hospital!" Amberkit screamed.

* * *

Amberkit and Dewkit the sushi walked peacefully behind Brightheart.

Snowkit watched them like a stalker.

"Ooh, Dewkit, you're gonna look like _this _when you grow up!" Amberkit meowed, pointing at a dried prune.

Snowkit wrinkled his nose.

Dewkit slapped Snowkit.

Snowkit started to cry. "Brightheart-"

"Slapping is for girls, punching is for boys," Amberkit meowed in the matter-of-factly.

Dewkit punched Amberkit.

* * *

"If you are going to be quiet, just draw on this sketch pad!" Brightheart snapped at them. She gave them a notebook and a pen.

"You just said you'll give us a sketch pad!" Amberkit yowled.

Brightheart scoffed and turned back to looking at doughnuts.

Amberkit glanced down. She quickly drew a picture of Snowkit. She showed Snowkit her picture. "Do you like it? It's you!"

"EW!" Dewkit gagged.

Snowkit started to cry. "It was supposed to be me!"

* * *

"Okay, what is zero times zero?" Amberkit asked Snowkit.

"Zero-zero?" Snowkit asked.

Amberkit shook her head. "Wrong. It's zero."

Snowkit started to cry.

Dewkit looked over the glass in the meat section. "Ew, frogs!"

Amberkit looked over his shoulder. "Ew, cow tongue!"

"Ew, pig butt!"

"Aka ham."

Bubbleawesomeness heard them, and narrowed his eyes, offended.

* * *

"Snowkit, if I have one plate and another plate, how many plates would I have?" Brightheart asked Snowkit, looking over the plates.

"THREE!" Dewkit yowled.

"NO, ONE!" Amberkit screeched.

"Two," Snowkit answered happily.

"You're right, Snowkit!" Brightheart mewed, proud.

"Ew, Snowkit's a nerd!" Amberkit yowled.

"Amberkit cussed at me!" Snowkit started to cry again.


End file.
